Healing
the Heart
Self-Fulfilling
Prophecies
by Sandra Church,
M.E.(Psychology)
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How
you see yourself, as worth something or worthless, affects your
present and future behaviour because we create "self fulfilling
prophecies" from the ways in which we perceive ourselves.
We have certain expectations of ourselves and the world, and many
of these expectations come from our self concept; these expectations
have an influence on the outcome of events in our lives. Self
-fulfilling prophecies happen all the time, even though we don't
label them as such. For example, you have an interview for a job
and you expect to become nervous and botch the interviewed. You
do exactly that! You expect to have a bad time at a party because
no one likes you, and that's just how it happens. "You won't
understand this," says a teacher, and you therefore can't
seem to make yourself understand the idea. These are examples
of self-fulfilling prophecies.
There
are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies. The first is when
people tell YOU negative things and believe them and you therefore
have negative expectations of for situation. This influences your
behaviour. The second is self-created. "I don't know anything
about ......" may influence your behaviour when faced with
the situation. A belief that "I'm ugly" may influence
you to behave in unattractive ways, or to be shy with the opposite
sex. Your belief creates a self-fulfilling prophecies. They are
self imposed and are usually negative. "This will be a bad
day!" you think, and so it is. You can create a positive
self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you decide you can learn
something, you probably will.
Negative
parents who tell children "You'll fail if you try that!"
"You're too clumsy for sports." are creating negative
self-fulfilling prophecies. Teachers, too, can have an influence
on abilities when they label students as "slow" or "unruly".
We too often act these prophecies out and make them come true.
Humans respond to the expectations placed upon them by others
and by themselves.
That's
why it's important to focus on the positive aspects of life, on
the "cans" and not “ the can'ts.”
It's
in your power to change your expectations, to make healthy changes
in your self concept and your personal power. My belief is that
we have the inner power to make changes and can access that power
through meditation and many other alternative methods. Following
are some suggestions:
- Have
realistic expectations. Perfection is an unreachable goal.
- Have a realistic perception of yourself. Nobody is all bad or
all good.
- Have the Will to change, and work at it every day through meditation.
- Have the will to change you; you might talk to a counsellor
or your pastor, or a very good friend.
Remember
that you, with the aid of Spirit, have the ability to Help Yourself.
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