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Healing the Heart

 

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

by Sandra Church, M.E.(Psychology)

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How you see yourself, as worth something or worthless, affects your present and future behaviour because we create "self fulfilling prophecies" from the ways in which we perceive ourselves. We have certain expectations of ourselves and the world, and many of these expectations come from our self concept; these expectations have an influence on the outcome of events in our lives. Self -fulfilling prophecies happen all the time, even though we don't label them as such. For example, you have an interview for a job and you expect to become nervous and botch the interviewed. You do exactly that! You expect to have a bad time at a party because no one likes you, and that's just how it happens. "You won't understand this," says a teacher, and you therefore can't seem to make yourself understand the idea. These are examples of self-fulfilling prophecies.

There are two types of self-fulfilling prophecies. The first is when people tell YOU negative things and believe them and you therefore have negative expectations of for situation. This influences your behaviour. The second is self-created. "I don't know anything about ......" may influence your behaviour when faced with the situation. A belief that "I'm ugly" may influence you to behave in unattractive ways, or to be shy with the opposite sex. Your belief creates a self-fulfilling prophecies. They are self imposed and are usually negative. "This will be a bad day!" you think, and so it is. You can create a positive self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you decide you can learn something, you probably will.

Negative parents who tell children "You'll fail if you try that!" "You're too clumsy for sports." are creating negative self-fulfilling prophecies. Teachers, too, can have an influence on abilities when they label students as "slow" or "unruly". We too often act these prophecies out and make them come true. Humans respond to the expectations placed upon them by others and by themselves.

That's why it's important to focus on the positive aspects of life, on the "cans" and not “ the can'ts.”

It's in your power to change your expectations, to make healthy changes in your self concept and your personal power. My belief is that we have the inner power to make changes and can access that power through meditation and many other alternative methods. Following are some suggestions:

- Have realistic expectations. Perfection is an unreachable goal.
- Have a realistic perception of yourself. Nobody is all bad or all good.
- Have the Will to change, and work at it every day through meditation.
- Have the will to change you; you might talk to a counsellor or your pastor, or a very good friend.

Remember that you, with the aid of Spirit, have the ability to Help Yourself.

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